Tips for relieving stress and physical pain for parents
» Breathe
» Lift and Carry Children Correctly
» Use Essential Oils
» Get a Massage
» Stretch and Strengthen Your Body
Note: These are general ideas for easing some of the physical and emotional concerns associated with parenting. This is not intended as medical advice. Ask your licensed physician before starting an exercise program or to address specific issues. Research contraindications for essential oils before using them, especially if you're pregnant.
Breathe
Breathing fully and deeply helps promote relaxation and inner calm, allowing us to better cope with daily stress. Studies show that deep diaphragmatic breathing automatically begins the process of switching your body from a heightened “fight or flight” state to a calmer, more grounded state.
How do you know if you're breathing deeply? Put one hand on your heart and the other on your abdomen. When you inhale, does your stomach expand first, or your chest? If you are using your diaphragm, your stomach will expand on the inhale, and slowly retract toward your spine on the exhale.
As parents, of course, our challenge is remembering to tap into that natural, rhythmic breath when your child is crying or throwing a tantrum, the phone is ringing, and the water for macaroni and cheese is boiling. One way is to develop a regular practice of paying attention to your breath, if even just for 2 minutes when brushing your teeth or taking a shower. A common method is to count in your head on your inhale and exhale; when you reach 10, start over again.
The more you can develop attention on your breathe in these few fleeting moments of relative quiet, you'll be better able to use your breath to your advantage when life becomes more hectic.
Lift and carry children correctly
Low back pain is a common complaint of parents. Pregnancy can cause a tremendous strain on muscles that support the spine. Lifting and carrying children, too, can lead to chronic soreness and pain. Developing a habit of properly lifting and holding your child while she is an infant will help reduce physical pain and strain as she gets older.
Lifting:
• Bend at the knees, not at the waist. LIft with your leg muscles.
• Keep your abdominal muscles slightly contracted to protect your lower back.
• Try to lift with your child close in to your body. Using extended, outstretched arms places strain on your shoulder and neck. Let down the side of the crib instead of reaching in, and remove the high chair tray when putting your child in or taking her out.
• Get close to the car seat when loading and unloading your child. Kneel on the back seat. Try to reduce positions in which you bend and twist at the same time.
Carrying:
• As much as possible, avoid carrying your child on your hip. Switch sides when you hold your infant. Uneven distribution of weight creates muscle imbalances and can strain tendons and ligaments.
• When you're nursing, ensure proper support to minimize stress on your low back. Don't lean over your baby. Sit in a chair with good support, not a soft couch.
• Use a carrier in front that ensures even weight distribution.
Being conscious of how we use our body is key. It's easy to revert to old habits when feeling harried or tired. One method is to become aware of your body movements when you're doing an activity such as sports or housework. For example, do you vacuum by stretching your arms out from your shoulder joint (an inherently weak part of our body)? Or do you keep the vacuum close to your body and use your (much stronger) leg muscles to move? Paying attention like this can help train your awareness for those times when you're balancing five different tasks at once.
Use essential oils
Our sense of smell offers a powerful direct connection to our emotions. Pure essential oils of plants can instill feelings of relaxation, rejuvenation, happiness and energy. It's important that pure essential oils are used, and not perfume oils, which have little therapeutic value. You can find quality essential oils online or at natural grocery stores.
You can add essential oils to a hot bath, or create a room spray by adding oils to distilled water in a clean spray bottle with a fine-mist setting.
Lavender is a good basic oil to start with; it is a gentle sedative that helps relax and calm heightened emotions. Add 10 drops or so (depending on how much scent you want) to your bath, or mix 30-40 drops with 3 ounces of distilled water for a room mist.
Many oils should not be used for specific conditions, such as pregnancy, so be sure to read about the safety of your oils before you use them. There are many books and resources for learning more about essential oils. Online, check out aromaweb.com
Get a massage
Parents can benefit from regular massage in two key ways: relieving physical pain and soreness, and calming emotional stress.
Physical: Sore and tired muscles need a break. Massage loosens up tight areas, improves joint motility, increases blood flow and decreases pain. A qualified massage therapist will ask about your symptoms and adjust the massage to meet your specific needs. Scheduling a massage on a regular basis will help achieve more dynamic results.
Emotional: We parents spend a lot of time caring for other people. A massage allows us to “check out” for an hour and nurture our body and soul, thereby giving us more energy and patience for our daily demands. Massage can lower blood pressure, decrease hormones associated with stress, and increase alertness — all characteristics of a relaxation response.
It's common for people, especially busy parents, to forget about massage until they feel they need one — right now! Instead of waiting for that desperate feeling, make your appointment well in advance. At the end of a massage is a good time to reschedule the next one.
For more on the benefits of massage, click here. To ask a question or schedule a massage with Pam Lyons, email massage@groundingtree.com
Stretch and strengthen your body
Gentle exercises, such as abdominal strengtheners, can help tone muscles to provide support for your low back, shoulders, and other areas that tend to become sore when carrying kids. Stretching slowly and regularly can help improve mobility and decrease tension. Proper exercises also can prevent injuries from happening in the first place.
You should never feel pain when you stretch or exercise. If it hurts, don't do it.
Check back to this website soon for more details about stretching and strengthening. In the meantime, ask your doctor for exercises for your specific needs, or check out resources on the web. This link, while geared toward athletes, shows some lower body stretches that may help with low-back pain.